Gen Z’s tainted love psychology while creating dating app profiles.
Written for Columbia Journalism School
Summer days are drifting away to swipe-filled October nights. As cuffing season - or the desire for single people to pair off in colder fall and winter months - approaches, dating app usage soars by 30%, according to research from Dating.com. So with more than 3.5 million people using these services in New York City alone, why does Gen Z still find it so hard to find a cuddle buddy to keep warm?
“I feel like if dating apps never existed, I’d have a boyfriend by now,” said Blaine Bensten, a 25-year-old non-binary person living in New York City. “They have totally impacted how we interact with each other. It’s become a game.”
A class action lawsuit was filed against Match Group, the company who owns major players in online dating like Match.com, Tinder and Hinge, by six of its’ users on February 14, 2024. The lawsuit claims Match Group has “altered social reality” through “addictive, game-like features” which “prioritize corporate profits over its marketing promises and customers’ relationship goals.”
But Avrum Weiss, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who has spent two decades researching men’s intimate relationships, suggests the issues may not lay in the algorithms of dating services, but rather how users present themselves online.
Weiss equates Gen Z’s usage of dating apps to other forms of social media, where profiles are designed to cultivate the most engagement, instead of creating authentic connections.
“On social media, you’re trying to build your audience, the more the better. But unless you're polyamorous, you're not trying to build a stable of lifelong partners, one is quite enough for most of us to handle,” Weiss said.
According to Weiss, dating app users are unable to bypass the strangeness of online anonymity because they rarely say enough about themselves in their photos or prompts. And with so many fish in the sea, it’s likely you’ll get lost in the current.
“Because we live in New York City and because there are so many people on dating apps, you can be picky,” said Bensten. “But then it starts to feel like finding the right thing is impossible.”
Isabelle Rojas, a 23-year-old living in the suburbs of New Jersey, met her girlfriend through Bumble. She says it was the intimate details in her profile that led her to send a like.
“She wasn't somebody that I thought that I would match with,” Rojas said. “We were complete opposites, but at the same time we were the same person. That was something that intrigued me.”
Adding personal details to your dating profile is daunting, but it could be the key to getting an authentic match.
“We're so focused on not putting off people instead of focusing on attracting people,” Weiss said. “And if you don't say anything specific about yourself, unusual or interesting outside of your picture, what is there for anyone to be attracted to?”
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